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How am I not myself?

I am not myself when I let this moment slip away without being here. Being now. Or now.

Where am I?

Elsewhere.

Elsewhere upstairs where reality fades and a new language divorces me from myself.

I am not myself when I am elsewhere.

Away from this moment. Away from my breath and my body and living in my mind. I have ceased to be me, when the me I thought I knew has taken a trip far far away. The me I become is a construct of mind, speaking in a language I don’t recognize. Do I want to live here where the dinner conversation is fractured at best?

A moment, waiting to be enjoyed and missed because of my troubled mind. The yearning for something that is not and the rejection of what is. I know little. What I do know is true. Truth reveals itself to me when I don’t need it. Fleeting moments of awareness and action spring forward and open me to the inspiration that is everywhere, all the time. I am not open to it when my distractions live with me.

Nature is mother. When I detach from me and mother becomes other, I am dislocated. When I breathe the sea air and hear its song, that is reality. When the me I thought I was turns on the radio, the me that is here goes upstairs into the unreality of intellect and politics. To live here means the death of now. They murder me and dampen the sound of quiet joy. The me I want sometimes forgets the words to a song that I once knew. But I’m learning it again. The People Doing Very Important Things All the Time tell me that the body serves the mind. But the children tell me that it’s the other way around.

I am you and you are me. I can only know me through you. You and I make three.

We are not alone when we are here. I can only be me when I surrender to this moment that we’ve shared. At times painful, but always fair.

When everything has a home, I am home. When I am aware of this, the moment is gone, waiting to be re-discovered. My limited grasp of perfection slips under my feet like a shadow. Acceptance of me allows myself to simply be.


‘dymaxion car #4’ at ‘bucky fuller & spaceship earth’ exhibition at ivorypress art + books, madrid
© sebastian marjanov

bucky fuller & spaceship earth is the title of a new exhibition looking at the work of buckminster fuller being held at
ivorypress art + books in madrid. the show is running from september 1 to october 30 and is curated by norman foster
and luis fernández-galiano. the exhibition features drawings and models including the recently completed recreation
of the dymaxion car. foster worked with fuller for the last 12 years of his life and explains that fuller  ‘had a profound
influence on my own work and thinking’. the new dymaxion car was commissioned by foster based on fuller’s own
drawings and prototypes. the prototype was built in east sussex by the car restoration company crosthwaite & gardiner.

http://www.ivorypress.com
http://www.fosterandpartners.com


‘bucky fuller & spaceship earth’ exhibition at ivorypress art + books, madrid
© sebastian marjanov


‘wichita house model’ at ‘bucky fuller & spaceship earth’ exhibition at ivorypress art + books, madrid
© sebastian marjanov


‘bucky fuller & spaceship earth’ exhibition at ivorypress art + books, madrid
© sebastian marjanov


dymaxion car #4
©gregory gibbons


dymaxion car #4
©gregory gibbons


dymaxion car #4

ascetic” (adj.) derives from the ancient Greek term askēsis (practice, training or exercise).

Originally associated with any form of disciplined practice, the term ascetic has come to mean anyone who practices a renunciation of worldly pursuits to achieve higher intellectual and spiritual goals for himself or herself.

Lecture at Cornell University – Agnes Martin

I want to talk to you about “the work”, art work.

I will speak of inspiration, the studio, viewing art work, friends of art, and artists’ temperaments.

But your interest and mine is really “the work” – works of art.

Art work is very important in the way that I will try to show when I speak about inspiration.

I have sometimes put myself ahead of my work in my mind and have suffered in consequence.

I thought me, me; and I suffered.

I thought I was important. I was taught to think that. I was taught: “You are important; people are important beyond anything else.”

But thinking that I suffered very much.

I thought that I was big and “the work” was small. It is not possible to go on that way. To think I am big is the work is big.

The position of pride is not possible either.

And to think I am small and the work is small, the position of modesty, is not possible.

I will go on to inspiration and perhaps you will see what is possible.

As I describe inspiration I do not want you to think I am speaking of religion.

That which takes us by surprise – moments of happiness – that is inspiration. Inspiration which is different from daily care.

Many people as adults are so startled by inspiration which is different from daily care that they think they are unique in having had it. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Inspiration is there all the time.

For everyone whose mind is not clouded over with thoughts whether they realize it or not.

Most people have no realization whatever of the moments in which they are inspired.

Inspiration is pervasive but not a power.

It’s a peaceful thing.

It is a consolation even to plants and animals.

Do not think that it is unique.

If it were unique no one would be able to respond to your work.

Do not think it is reserved for a few or anything like that.

It is an untroubled mind.

Of course we know that an untroubled state of mind cannot last. So we say that inspiration comes and goes but really it is there all the time waiting for us to be untroubled again. We can therefore say that it is pervasive. Young children are more untroubled than adults and have many more inspirations. All the moments of inspiration added together make what we call sensibility. The development of sensibility is the most important thing for children and adults but is much more possible in children. In adults it would be more accurate to say that the awakening to their sensibility is the most important thing. Some parents put the development of social mores ahead of aesthetic development. Small children are taken to the park for social play; sent to nursery school and headstart. But the little child sitting alone, perhaps even neglected and forgotten, is the one open to inspiration and the development of sensibility.



https://i1.wp.com/www.stanford.edu/dept/cisst/avirtualspacetime.jpg

Chrono Synclastic Infundibulum: places where all different kinds of truths fit together as nicely as the parts in your daddy’s solar watch.

chrono = time

synclastic = curved toward the same side in all directions (like the skin of an orange)

infundibulum = what ancient Romans like Julius Caesar and Nero called a funnel

*Is your spaceship powered by UWTS? What is UWTS you may ask? Why it’s the Universal Will To Become. It’s what makes nothingness insist on becoming somethingness. Perhaps the beings in our solar system are not in possession of such technology as of yet. – The complete history of Mars

“When I ran my space ship into the chrono-synclastic infundibulum, it came to me in a flash that everything that ever has been always will be, and everything that ever will be always has been.” -Winston Niles Rumfoord, Sirens of Titan (Kurt Vonnegut).